Understated
by carnageincminor
Summary: If Harvey hadn't been interrupted mid-sentence at the fundraiser. One hour crack!fic.


_Batman (Nolan-verse)_ fanfiction.  
Summary: If Harvey hadn't been interrupted mid-sentence at the fundraiser. One hour crack!fic.

**UNDERSTATED**

"Let's be serious, then."

"OK." She gave a nod and the humour faded from her face as she realised she didn't know if she was ready for such a commitment.

"What's your answer?"

His intense eyes were watching her so closely for signs of what she was thinking that she couldn't help but feel like she was letting him down. Rachel held his gaze for a drawn out moment, sensing his growing anxiety the longer she held off her response. She shook her head sadly and sighed. "I don't have an answer."

He turned his head away. His outward composure didn't change, but deep down she knew he was shattered. "I guess no answer is 'no'."

"Harvey..."

"It's someone else, isn't it?" He pressed.

"Harvey --"

"Just tell me it's not Wayne; the guy's a complete _dork_."

Rachel's mouth was already half-opened as she prepared to defend Bruce, but then the rest of Harvey's sentence completely threw her off. "What?" She looked at him in bafflement. _Jerk_, _asshole_, _sleazebag_, variations and synonyms of the above -- she had all expected, but _dork_?

"I mean, he plays it like he's some _totally_ cool guy," Harvey continued, "but seriously, who's he kidding? The no-name models on his arm? Arriving in a helicopter? The Lamborghini? Only things a dork would do, given enough money." He scoffed, getting well and truly into his rant now. "True coolness is understated, not this... showy display of vulgarity," Harvey waved a hand disdainfully at the party around them. "Besides, everyone knows you buy American and you buy a Corvette."

Rachel was at an utter loss for words. This was a side of him she'd never seen. He was an old hand when it came to making attacks on people's character, being part of his job, but something this petty? Her brows furrowed. "What are you -- what's gotten into you, Harvey?"

He shrugged evasively. "I'm just saying, if this is the guy you're waiting on... well, you shouldn't."

Indignation sparked in her, perhaps something subconscious, and she wondered how Harvey could be so judgmental when he knew nothing about who Bruce really was. "But inside, he is... he is _more_," she countered, her tongue trying to seek out better words to describe Batman without revealing too much, but finding nothing adequate.

"Oh my God, it _is_ Wayne," Harvey moaned.

"No, that's not what I meant! I won't have you talking about my friends like this."

He only gave her a sceptical eye. "He's hardly a friend. You never see the guy; he's always off doing whatever dorky things he does, like sailing with the cast of the Moscow Ballet." He sniffed. "Totally lame," he adds under his breath.

Rachel paused. "OK, OK, maybe that was an act of excess. But that's not all there is to him."

"Please," Harvey wasn't convinced. "Next you'll be telling me he's a crime fighter at night." He didn't notice the shocked light in Rachel's eyes, too absorbed in his critique. "Which, might I remind you, is a comic book fantasy that rests very squarely in geek territory."

* * *

The Alternative Ending

"Oh my God, it _is_ Wayne," Harvey moaned.

"No, that's not what I meant..."

He must have taken something in her tone because the next thing she knew, he had gasped and his jaw dropped a mile. "It's Wayne, it's Wayne!" He cried out, eyes wild, hands flying up to grasp at his head as he backed away from her. He would not be consoled.

"Harvey!" She hissed, not wanting to draw further attention to themselves as Gotham's DA White Knight stumbled into the crowd of concerned Trust Fund Committee onlookers.

"How could you, Rachel? Rachel!" His voice became gnarled the more the thought plagued him of Rachel preferring the dork, and to everyone's astonishment, Harvey crashed into the champagne glass pyramid in the centre of the function hall. Broken glass clawed into the left side of his face, tearing flesh, and he screamed and screamed in agony.

And thus was the tale of Harvey Dent's descent into madness.


End file.
